Reasons Why Food Sucks
December 10, 2012
1. You eat, then a few hours later you’re hungry again.
2. It messes up your face.
3. It gets stuck in your teeth at the worst possible time.
4. It makes your breath stink.
5. It makes you fart.
6. It makes you poo.
7. It can get you really sick and make you barf.
8. It makes you thirsty, then you have to drink water, and that opens a whole other can of worms. (Please see “Reasons Why Water Sucks” volumes 1,2, and 3).
9. It makes you fat.
10. It makes you feel like a lazy lion.
11. It gets your teeth all dirty.
12. You HAVE to eat, so you’re a slave to food for your entire life. Food is your master! Ahhhhhh!
13. It makes you have to wash your hands and use napkins.
14. It can taste really bad.
15. It can smell up the whole place.
16. When other people are eating food, then you might get hungry too.
17. Did I mention it makes you POO?
18. You get grumpy and start making all these dorky noises when you don’t have food.
19. It can burn and start fires.
20. It makes you indecisive cuz there are so many different types of food. Then you waste all this time trying to decide while your stomach growls away. Then you don’t get to eat cuz you spent so much time deciding what you want to eat that you’re now late for your chiropractor appointment. Then your chriopractor gets pissed and cracks your back in half.
That’s why I say: SCREW FOOD!