Crazy meat jokes

Crazy meat jokes

A Canadian, a Scotsman, and an Australian. . .
A Canadian, a Scotsman, and an Australian are in a bar discussing the mental abilities of their wives. The Canadian says, “You know my wife must be the most stupid woman in the world. She went to a supermarket sale and bought $900 worth of meat, and we don’t even have a freezer! The Scotsman says, “That’s nothing! My wife went out last week and bought a brand new $30,000 car, and she can’t even drive! Not to be out done, the Aussie says, “My wife is a lot dumber than that! Last week she left for a two week holiday in Paris and I saw her pack 20 condoms! Hell, she doesn’t even have a penis!”

A little old lady sits at the luncheonette coun…
A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders ahamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, “ONE BURGER!”The cook, who’s even bigger, screams, “BUR-GER!”Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it inhis bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat,and tosses it on the grill. The old lady says, “That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve everseen!”The counterman says, “Yeah? You should be here in themorning when he makes the doughnuts!”and orders ahamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, “ONE BURGER!”The cook, who’s even bigger, screams, “BUR-GER!”Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it inhis bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat,and tosses it on the grill. The old lady says, “That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve everseen!”The counterman says, “Yeah? You should be here in themorning when he makes the doughnuts!”

The dog and the butcher
A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to aneighbour of his. The neighbour happened to be a lawyer. Incensedat the theft, the butcher called up his neighbour and said, “Hey,if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liablefor the cost of the meat? ” The lawyer replied, “Of course, how muchwas the roast? ” “$7. 98. ” A few days later the butcher received acheck in the mail for $7. 98. Attached to it was an invoice that read:”Legal Consultation Service: $150. ”

Grass Sandwich
At a local college dance, a guy from America asked the girl from Sweden to dance. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, “In America, we call this a hug”. She replies, “Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too. ” A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, “In America, we call this a kiss”. She replies, “Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too. ” Towards the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her, and says, “In America, we call this a grass sandwich”. She says, “Yaaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too, but we usually put more meat in it. ”

Lack Of Meat In Poland
A Journalist has to write a story on the lack of meat in Poland. So he goes off to Poland and asks the people: “Excuse me, what do you think of the lack of meat in Poland? “All the Poles reply: “Meat? What is meat? “Seeing he cannot get an answer in Poland he goes to the USSR and asks the Soviets: “Excuse me, what do you think of the lack of meat in Poland? “All the Soviets reply: “Think? What is think? “Seeing he cannot get an answer in the USSR he goes to the USA and asks the Americans: “Excuse me, what do you think of the lack of meat in Poland? “All the Americans reply: “Lack? What is lack? “Seeing he cannot get an answer in the USA he decides to go to Israel, and asks the Israelis: “Excuse me, what do you think of the lack of meat in Poland? “To which all the Israelis reply: “Excuse me? What is excuse me? “

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